I’ve been out of the dating world for 2 years, but holy Hannah Montana, I have not been that far out of the game.
In general, it takes me a long time to commit because once I do; I’m loyal to a fault.  S was the first person where we knew it was seriously going somewhere after the 2nd date.  I knew I was all in. We both felt like that.  Normally that never happens, it’s like 4 months later and I decide after a lot of push and shove.
Y’all know I nickname this person Pumpkin Spice because we both love Starbucks and that’s where we first met about 2 months ago.  We had our third date this week.  We had a great time together and then all of a sudden the DTR (Determine the relationship) conversation happened.
PSL         What do you want from me?
Me         What do you mean?
PSL         Do you feel the same way about me as I feel for you? Are you dating other people?  Are we exclusive?
Me         Um….I like you, but it’s only our third date. I just need more time.
PSL         I knew what I wanted from you after our 2nd date. I’m not dating anyone else. What is going through your head? 
Me         Listen, I just need more time to know you, to trust you.
PSL         Is this because of all the pain from your ex?  We have all had heartbreak, you learn and move on.
Me         Yes, you move on, but much more cautiously. Can’t you understand?
PSL         Damn him. I am left with your heart broken and the baggage from it.

I think we are pretty much done after that conversation.  I ended things with Adam for the same reason. He just would not give me time knowing that I had just gotten out of a serious relationship. He said, after 4 dates, either you are in it or not. We were on our third; I never let it get to #4.  I don’t understand the rush…If you like someone, what is the harm in giving them more time in the beginning?

It’s a shame because if PSL gave me just a little more time, then it might have gone somewhere. 

Update: 2 days later I got a kind break-up text from him. I really think it was very nice of him to do so, but I did not even know we were in a relationship.  I wish my real break-up was as smoothly as PSL’s was.  I tried to make my response back very nice because what I don’t want to happen is turn a nice guy into an A-hole.


2 Replies to “3 dates…the new DTR rule?”

  1. Where do you find these needy guys??? Seriously most guys would be cool without having to DTR and they can’t even give you more time… lame.

    1. Idk…I thought we were done on Sunday. Today I get a text kindly breaking up with me. I did not even know we were in a relationship to break up? But sadly, he was much better at breaking up than Soheil.

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