Karen’s Column…Advice for the Loved and Loveless

Can guys and girls be friends?

There are some people who do not believe guys and girls can just be friends. Someone was talking to me about this and he believes no. He thinks as you progress in life, you become couple friends, but girls and guys just can’t be friends.

I think it is much harder at times to maintain those friendships, I have only had a few friendships that have gone down like the Titanic, but I have a lot of good guy friends too. I think based on your relationship, we can have friends of the opposite sex, but you have to learn to categorize them.

I can hear you now…what do you mean categorize?

Here are the top 7 categories that we all can relate to:

  1. The Big Brother. He is the one you go to for everything. He is the reliable one, the safe one, the person who will never make a move on you. He is protective of you like his own sibling, fixes your car, and every guy that enters your life, he will tell you that they will never be good enough. That is Cepand for me. Anytime I need anything he is there. He has told me on many occasions that no one will be good enough for his craysian fireball. I swear he always finds something wrong with anyone I date. I told him one day he will have to think someone is good enough because I cannot be alone forever. He said nope.
  2. Next Door Neighbor. The guy you have known forever. He is the nice guy, the guy you trust. The one you share your secrets with and there is nothing there. He is just a really good friend.
  3. From a Guy’s Point of View. Things did not work out on a date, who do you call? You call this guy, he will tell you what went wrong, what the guy is thinking, and what you need to do. The friend who helps you think like a man so to speak. Hands down if I ever need to get into the mind of a man, Jared is there for me every time.
  4. Life Coach. He is the person who you go to for every big decision: Professionally and personally. Mike is that person for me. He has continually been there for me no matter what. He hates going out with me because it makes him laugh/frustrates him to see how men swarm me. This is Mike. He has been there through every up and down in my life.
  5. Polar Opposite. This is the person you never thought you would be friends with, but somehow you just click. There is no chemistry, but you definitely get along.  If you could summarize me and Julio’s relationship, this is it.  I am the good girl, he was the bad boy, I was innocent and his goal was to corrupt me. But somehow it works for us.
  6. Life of the Party. You guys are just hang-out buddies. You see him at parties, chit-chat once in a while, say you need to hang out but never do. They are super fun, but that is it. If you were dying in a ditch, this person would not be anywhere near the top of your list. Girls have a lot of these types of friends. These are harmless. They are the fun in the moment guy.
  7. Flirtationship. This is the trickiest type of friendship and sadly the hardest one to keep. You two have chemistry in some form, your relationship is very flirty and even at times people think you are together. Unfortunately, that’s all it is. Neither one of you want to risk the friendship or feel it is right to make a move, so you just stay in limbo. You sit and watch as both of you date other people. Eventually, the friendship fades because it is inevitable that one party will develop feelings and it just gets messy.

I can name so many good guy friends who mean the world to me, but in order to keep that, you have to really work at keeping them friend-zoned because there is a lot at stake when you move into grey areas. As you grow older, you learn to pick and choose.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *