I know online dating is the newest way to meet people. I’ve known lots of people who met through a bunch of different sites including E-Harmony, Match, and Plenty of Fish, etc…  So many people told me I need to do this, well here is my 2 cents on things and from personal experience from my total of maybe 2 weeks over the past year.

Have you seen “When in Rome?” I am in LOVE with that movie or Enchanted? Well, I just love that unexpectedly; they met someone and fell in love. I know it’s hard these days, but I still have hope that exists, but I wasn’t holding my breath to having my life be like a movie. So…I tested dating via the Internet and learned it is NOT for me.

Last year, Shari gave me her Match account for 1 month to get me out of my hot mess stage. I never had to go this avenue. When you go out 7 days a week for about 4 months straight, you meet a lot of people, you don’t need to go online. Well, Match did not work. I went out with 0 people exactly and called it quits. There wasn’t anyone I was even interested in. After that experience, I said no more.

Then life progressed and I just went out and met people, but again, I was a pain in the butt to date. Trust me; I would throw myself in the “undateable” category even though people tried. I am shocked at the amount of things men put up with me during that phase including taking a Myers Briggs test.  Shari actually tried to do a how to lose a guy in 2-3 dates. Fail, they all passed all her obstacles. She was in awe.

In January, Shari convinced me to give it one more try because it worked for her. I went out with 3 guys and begged people to take my account for FREE. One of the guys was perfect on paper, not so perfect in real life. Some of you may remember him as cat man and he even was vouched for by a friend, she just never knew he could be this crazy. I finally gave my account away, but now that the person is done with my account, I am having issues closing it. I have been trying to contact them for almost a month, and they won’t close it. Tien said it’s worst than trying to close a gym membership. Ugh.

Then onto a new app called Tinder…

Paula actually made me do this. She met her guy through there and wanted me to do the same. So we sat there on her account for almost 2 hours while she swiped for me. By the end of the experience, she was a little amused and irked at how picky I am. She was like how is it that you only swiped X (I forget what way) for 10 people? I asked her how many people she talked to? She said 300. I think my eyes popped out of my head, that is EXHAUSTING! Nobody ain’t got time for that.

Then she asked me to try again a month later. I did it for a few days and called it quits.  I told Karen, going on Tinder makes you give up more because you look at the dating pool and it’s just meh. And for the few that I did speak with, they all wanted a fun in the moment girl, which I am not. I told Paolo and someone else that and they were like you know Tinder is just a hook-up app? Um…no I did not and this is why it is now deleted.

While in Utah, a bunch of my friends are trying to convince me to move back. Well, a big part of moving back is that the dating pool will be literally zero. Jared just got on Tinder and so we snooped around what the pool of men was like. Yep…0. I told Jared no more after 5 minutes and it’s a shame that he and I are such good friends, a great match, but we are just friends, nothing more.  We know way too much about each other to cross any lines, plus we are not each other’s type.  He likes them blonde and blue-eyed and I like my men with dark features and usually an engineer or tech person.

Idalia has now taken it upon herself to make me do E-Harmony when she comes into town. Ugh…I still believe that somewhere unexpectedly, I’ll meet someone, just like in a romantic comedy.

I got sucked in by Paula again for one last time.  This is why I am horrible at gambling, I get swept up easily.  She went on it again and told me she loves it and everyone she was talking to.  So I successfully made it 2 days on there and it’s deleted again, for good. I have wiped the word Tinder from my memory.  It was the worst 2 days of my life and made me give up on men in general.  And here is why:

  •  I think I swiped yes, whichever way it is maybe 30 times out of however many people for an hour.  If they are model pretty, I pass immediately.  I want someone real and there is only room for one princess in the relationship and y’all know who that is.
  • I have never seen so many half-naked pics or men with professional shots. You know immediately they are dbags. If not, then the other half looked like they were creepers.
  • I matched with a few and obviously the first thing they ask is what I’m looking for. I feel like it’s a mixed bag, but there are some looking only for hook-ups.  I tell them I’m not that girl.  One guy said he understood and recommended I go to Match because most people on here are busy and want something casual.  Honestly, it’s 2014. Do they not know about stranger danger and what gross things people might have?
  • I saw some of my friends on Tinder, which I was like huh, I would not expect that and passed.  I was a little embarrassed too because it’s like I knew their secret and I shouldn’t have. I also saw an old flame, remember the one that asked me to marry him that we met at Whole Foods. Obviously, he still has not found anyone to love.  I couldn’t help it, he was really good-looking and sweet, just the chemistry wasn’t there.  I had to click on the pictures and take one last look.  Well obviously, I am technologically challenged. One second I was looking at him again in awe at his sexiness, but saying in my head it would never work out and the next thing I know, it liked it.  And then it matched and he messaged me. So I deleted my account immediately.  If that was not a sign from GOD saying STOP, I don’t know what is.  What are the chances of you just scrolling some pics and then liking it?   Karen sent me these memes in commemoration of the blunder.wpid-received_10205392777158034.jpegwpid-received_10205392780598120.jpegwpid-received_10205392778478067.jpeg

Last week, Shari asked me to try again. One more time and even Adam tried to convince me and say maybe I need to put work into my profile. Well, I think I’m just going to chance it in life and enjoy it without the help of the Internet. I can use my data to read CNN and TMZ.

Obviously, if accidentally liking an old flame is not a sign from God telling me to stop, then I don’t know what is.  It means I should take a season or two to be on a break from men.


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