Karen’s Column…Advice for the Loved and Loveless

For the Sake of Love or Money?

wpid-cymera_20140826_014404.jpgThis is a topic that has been discussed in some form with every girl, especially after reading “50 Shades of Grey.” FYI- I have yet to read the trilogy even though Savoy gave it to me. She said I have until February of 2015 to read it before we all go see the movie, so why rush it?

Everyone wants Christian Grey to appear in their life. They want this suave man, who can give a woman the world and do whatever he does in this red velvet room I hear about, when I read it, I’ll let you know.

I am probably one of the biggest romantics you will ever meet. One of my favorite movies is still Enchanted, so that tells you the type of dreamer that I am. But in all reality, I do think these movies and the creation of characters like Christian Grey has skewed what women want in a man.

Karen and I joke about how life would be amazing if we had a white knight come in and scoop us up, but I promise you, it would never work. We can’t be tamed.

But in all reality, Karen has always advocated looking for someone who has the right qualities versus the one who has the most money or gives the most stuff. Stuff can only last so long.

There are many girls who want men who make a certain threshold, but she and I have discussed that Christian Grey is a fantasy. She’s tried to explain several times to a few girls that you always look to see if a man has possibility to grow in the future and with your help, the world is your oyster.

One day she was making a comparison about what girls’ should look for in a man when choosing someone for the long-run.

Guy A:

  • Nice
  • Above average looking guy, not super sexy, but just an all around next door neighbor type
  • A little shy, not the steal the spotlight type person
  • Smart
  • Funny
  • Well-groomed
  • Dependable
  • Makes good money, but not enough where you can up and quit your job, but you can tell he’s a hard-worker

Guy B:

  • Good-looking
  • Smart
  • Ambitious
  • Passionate
  • Drives a nice car
  • Buys you anything you want
  • Sure road to being a CEO of something ($$$)

Who do you choose? Personally, I always go for someone who isn’t super good-looking. I like the nerd who is a little awkward, can write some type of code (Speak Java and SQL to me baby…hehe), and thinks my joke “I think you’re my favorite proton” is cute. But many girls would choose Guy B. They can’t help but be charmed by the good looks and the fact that the guy can give them an LV purse, Dior glasses, and later on the mansion and luxury car that they want. They see Guy B as a ticket to a great lifestyle, similar to the Housewives of OC.

I think these days; many people confuse what is important in life. Money is important, money is needed to live a comfortable and enjoyable life, but it’s not the only thing in life that matters.

Guy A may not make a lot of money now, but that’s when you can work together, build a life together, and create your own story. There is never a promise if things will work out, but Guy A is most likely the typical nice guy. It’s the guy who most girls ignore, but it’s the guy who will treat you best.

Guy B, not all good-looking, wealthy men fall into the arrogant category, but a majority can be. You might get every material item you want, but in the end, you might be missing a partner, someone who truly cares about you, gives you attention, and makes you a priority. Someone with wealth, power, and passion is like a drug. You are addicted, but for all the wrong reasons.

No one is perfect. With that said, no package is perfect, so as you are looking at each person, really list what are the most important qualities that you want for your future. It’s hard to find a man who is kind, loving, attentive, and on top of that you want to make sure he is already in a position with millions?

Karen has said time and time again, that you can’t just throw someone who has 99% of what you are looking for over technicality. The nice guy is the guy who will give you his hand when you fall, wipe your tears, and takes care of you when you are sick. This is the person you choose, for the sake of love or money, forget about money. Love, a partnership, and being able to be with someone who makes you laugh, who you can grow old within where your priorities should lie.

The next time a nice guy approaches you, give him a second look before moving along. He might be that person who can make you believe you have everything in life because you have each other.  Note: Nice guy is different than a pushover.

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