Linda & Lisa’s Top Travel Bloopers

I was sitting here thinking about what to write for your 30^th birthday. But nothing seemed sufficient and then it hit me…Our top travel moments. What is more perfect than the top travel bloopers as we re-live every adventure to date.

Every trip is filled with “oops” or “did that really happen” blunders. For those who come back, especially from an international trip saying everything was perfect, there were 0 problems is lying.

Chicago

All aboard! We started our traveling journey with a bang in Chicago. Your flight was delayed, but we had a pirate boat tour on the Navy Pier in the evening. The ship was literally leaving as we ran down the pier in knee-high boots. When we finally made on the boat, we asked to take a picture with a pirate who we believed worked there, but he was just a passenger.

Germany

Knock knock, no one’s there. We have traveled all over the world and never had an issue with not being able to check into a hotel late. Well, in Germany we did. We arrived around 11 PM and saw a flicker of light. When I went to ring the bell, no one was there. I tried a few more times and still no one answered. I saw a hotel open next door and we walked over. They could not get a hold of anyone and they were sold out. We had to spend the night sleeping in the car. We woke up the next morning and the hotel was STILL not open, so we had to go eat breakfast at the hotel next door and use their bathroom to clean up.
Power outages. For some reason in Munich, every time we plugged in the power surge it shut down the entire floor’s power. I am pretty sure the front desk guy hated us!
Excuse me, I’m waiting for your partner. I make it a tradition to get us matching outfits. We were at the BMW museum and taking this picture on the motorcycle. I asked the guy if he’s ready, he’s like yes, but I’m just waiting for your partner to get on.

Austria

Where are the keys? We were on our way to return our car and we were filling it up at the gas station. I realized the music was still on, so I took the key out. It is a keyless engine and I opened the door and left the key on the seat to throw trash away. And we didn’t know, when you take the key out it locks, it’s not like the cars in America. We went into the gas station, luckily Shahin helped call for help. But we had to wait for hours and our option was either to wait or break our own window.

Jamaica

Twin…All your collages are spelled wrong. We took this trip right after my car accident and I really must attribute this to my brain injury, but now it’s a special memory. We always call it Jamacia.
We don’t need your business. Twin is such a bargainer at times. She wanted flip-flops and a few other things and she kept bargaining and at one point the guy took everything in her pile, put it in the backpack and said goodbye.
When you lose a phone on a bobsled…We were so excited to pretend we were like in “Cool Running.” During the ride, my phone flew into the jungle, literally. There was probably a .0001% chance of finding it. I was devastated because it had all our pictures on it. Even if the phone survived the fall, it was pouring rain. I had no hope, but somehow, a few hours later, they found it in PERFECT condition.
Give me my rolls! We were at Rick’s Café, the food was bad, but the service was horrible. We were both fed up, so Lisa and I normally never do this, but the waitress was so rude, Lisa didn’t leave a tip and we left. The lady chased us out of the place and the guard had to mediate. Lisa’s temper came out and she was saying how horrible she was, etc… the lady made up an excuse, so the guard asked what he can do to make up for it. Lisa took the apology and demanded free juice and rolls to go.

Cancun

Hables espanol? This was one of the most infamous “Oh Crap” moments we had. We were on Isla Mujeres and rented a golf cart. We only had it for 2 days and we asked the lady what to do if we need gas. She said there is no way for you to run out of gas. Well, obviously she does not know us because on our way back to return the golf cart we ran out of gas in the middle of this dark road. Normally, we would not panic so much, but the shop closed in 30 minutes and they had my driver’s license. There was no one anywhere on this road. I walked down this street and you could hear dogs barking. Lisa was standing pretty far behind saying, “Twin, is this a good idea?” I saw a light on and a guy in a wife-beater came out, so I said “Hables Ingles?” He said no. He said “Hables Espanol?” I said un poco, ayuadame. Mi coche no worko (worko is not a word lol). He understood my broken Spanish, came out filled it up with gas and we were on our way. Lisa asked if I was scared, absolutely, but what could I have done? There can’t be 2 scared people.
I scream, you scream, we all scream for land. My dream for years was to swim with the whale sharks. Twin was amazing to go with me and swim with them, but for whatever reason she got really sea sick.
Help me, help me, the turtles took my phone. We were visiting the turtle farm. We looked at the baby turtles, next thing I know, Twinkie’s phone took a swim with the them as well. It’s a blurry pic, but that’s the guy getting her phone.

London

Will the real Lisa and Linda please stand up? We were supposed to go to Stone Henge. The tour started at 6:15 AM. We had called the company because our cab took us to the wrong meeting spot, they said no worries. But when we arrived, the bus had already left. When we wandered around to a hotel to make the call, they said that they picked up a Lisa and Linda. Well, whoever was in the bus was not us!

Japan

Are you Dr. Linda? For some reason, all our tours had me down as Dr. Linda. I will take it!
Gato gato, Mr. Robato has your cell phone. Lisa and I made it to the Tuna Auction, but we were so sleepy, we both fell asleep in the cab to the train station. Luckily, I used Uber to get my ride, but once I left the car, I realized I had dropped my phone in the car. Because of the language barrier, I had to log into Lisa’s phone, contact Uber, they had to contact the driver, then we had to have our tour guides determine a meeting spot. Then when we determined the meeting spot, the cab driver did not know because he did not speak English, so he took us to a hotel where they translated it. But all in all, somehow even in Japan, my phone came back to me.

Sweden

Who has my twin? In Sweden, we got separated in the parliament building. We had never established a mutual meeting spot. I ran around the entire place for almost 3 hours and was near tears because I’ve never let anything happen to her. We survived more dangerous places, yet I lose her in Sweden? I thought she had been kidnapped. I didn’t even know where the Embassy was and who to call. In the end, she was snuggled up in the hotel room.

India

Pac-Man through the India Airport. We had no idea how bad the Delhi Airport would be. We had about 30 minutes to get on our flight, we didn’t realize how bad security was. One of the workers somehow sped us through in 15 minutes, but it was the fastest we’ve ever had to maneuver through an airport.
Feeling poopy…literally. Somehow a pigeon pooped on my head and our poor tour guide had to clean it off.

Greece

Evil cab driver…I put a spell on you. In Greece one of the things you need to watch out for is fake cabs. We accidentally got in one, when we figured that out. Lisa put a bad curse on him, then she’s like and his wife. I’m like wait what did his wife do? And after that…Twinkie took it back lol.
Earplug only zone. I normally always get sick with bronchitis, that’s just expected. Well on this trip, it was bad and I kept Lisa up ALL night with my snoring. Poor Twinkie you deal so much to travel with me.

New Orleans

Young lady, what are you wearing? I ALWAYS over-pack and Lisa doesn’t pack enough, but I think this time was the worst. She had a tank top that needed an undershirt, but she did not bring the right one to cover correctly. She’s like it’s ok, I’ll just wear it and her bra would have shown on the sides. I gave her my shirt and said no, I will not be seen with you in the airport like that and she got to keep this purple shirt!

Petra

You happy, Donkey happy. In Petra, we decided to ride a donkey up to the top. At the very top of hill, I just fell off. Obviously after that, we were not taking a donkey ever again.
It has to be fake. This is the first time, we have had very sexually active neighbors. It was so loud that we thought it was coming from upstairs only to realize it was from next door. Normally, we would let it go, but it was non-stop screaming all day and night. We had to go downstairs to have the reception call and we decided to leave this note. Hopefully they can read English.
Falls and flaws. I am not very well-balanced, I fell and really damaged my knee. Here is our tour guide fixing me. And being a fool, I still wanted to go into the Dead Sea, but that salt…

Thailand

Tigers are BIG cats. I was so excited to visit Tiger Kingdom. I know everyone is against it, but we wanted to do it. After I went in for pictures with the baby cubs, I washed my arms off, but I started seeing red spots. I still had to mid-size tigers to see, so I didn’t say anything to Twin. But after I got my pictures, I showed her all the spots on my arms. I had to be taken to the medical tent, I guess I found out I am allergic to tigers.

Turkey

And…Again, there goes my phone. We were taking a picture in Pamukkale and next thing I know, Twin ended up in the water. The first thing she said was take my phone! We put it in a bag of rice and luckily it worked. I swear our phones know that they will be abused, so they are ready for it.

Carnival Cruise

Shoe Disaster. I don’t know how, but as we were walking down the streets of Cozumel, Twinkie’s shoe broke and we had to find a random shop to find one.

We are famous! Ok, this is not so much a blooper, but it had to go in here. We pretended we didn’t know our photo got picked.
Don’t put that plate there. There was a fitness instructor everyone was in love with. They all went to spy on him, well I had a plate and put it on a cart. He was not so happy and started coming after me. Twinkie took this picture.
Don’t over pack. Somehow I overloaded my luggage and this is the end result.