Karen’s Column…Advice for the Loved and Loveless

Power of Ignore

wpid-img_23667455880134.jpegIf you know Karen, this is one of her favorite phrases. Dating has become a circus, I have always said love should be easy, but people make it so hard.

In our world, this is how it should be: Boy meets girl–>They feel the chemistry and fireworks–> the girl’s foot pops on their first kiss like in Princess Diaries–>They fall in love–>And live happily ever after–> THE END.

But it has become way too easy for men and women to fall into the never-ending game of dating. I admit I do as well because if you don’t, you can’t get ahead. There are rules for everything such as how many days to wait in between texts, how often you should see each other before you are considered clingy, make sure not to open up all at once, who should be the first person to define the relationship, you learn to hold back specific pieces of yourself because A) it could be considered crazy B) Quirky or dorky C) You need to hold some face cards in your back pocket to play with.

So what is the power of ignore? It is essentially part of playing the game. You will notice through all the posts, Karen and I are big believers that if a man wants you, he will do what it takes to get you. And sadly, not that it should be this way, if a guy thinks he has you wrapped too early, you become a commodity and he gets comfortable, which is where the power of ignore comes into play.

Men are used to girls saying yes basically to anything they ask for. They are used to getting their way with women for so many things including being able to treat them as an option versus their only choice. Then women complain about not being treated right. The guys that they are interested in texts and see them when it is convenient for them, they won’t commit, etc…And you don’t know why because you say you make it clear what you want.

It is essentially because you have switched the roles. It is not your job to go after the man; it is his job to come after you. When you do all the initiating in the beginning, it gives them the ability to take you for granted. How many times has the guy texted you last-minute to hang-out and you say yes? How many text messages do you send before receiving one response back?

wpid-img_23563524758307.jpegAnd does he call it an actual date or use the word hang-out? Whenever I meet someone and they ask me out, I especially look for them to say I want to take you out on a date. If they say, are you free to hangout; they go in my phone as asshole for a few months before being deleted. They say first impressions are everything, we are not in high school to hang out together, and adults go on dates. A date shows effort, planning, and care.

This has nothing with being flexible. I do believe once you get in a relationship you should be accommodating and compromise. If a guy really wants to see you, he will respect your time and make plans in advance. If he rescheduled on you and you are tired of it, ignore him and don’t make plans again.

He will know that it’s not right and find a way to make up for it or he fades away by the wayside. I know some of you do not agree with this and that women can/should initiate too, but call me and Karen old school.

Most importantly, live your life, don’t be so dependent on having someone next to you, they will fall into place. I am not encouraging you to stop looking because prince charming will not knock on your door with a white horse, but you should do whatever you want and the right person will fall into place where he won’t require you to ignore his far and few texts to get him to respond.

And if he does keep playing that game, you know the power of ignore can last for a few days or it can last for eternity and in Karen’s words boy bye!


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