My section of the neighborhood has a lot of little kids and I’m a little biased, but I’m their favorite. Just kidding, well not really…they always play outside and when I come home from work, they run to me and show me their new shoes and give me hugs. Honestly, no matter how bad of a day you’ve had, kids can always make your life better.
One of the 10 year olds invited me to her birthday party and of course who would say no.
At the party, I met my neighbor’s nephew Jr. I thought he was 19, figuring out his life in college, young, wild and free. Oh no, later on I was talking to his aunt and I was like I feel so old compared to these young people. She’s like Linda; he’s 24, only 4 year age difference. We both looked at each other and just busted up laughing. My parents are right; I’m an 89 year old lady.
Moments why I felt old:
- He was going to a rave and brought out these bracelets. He said they exchange them with each other at these raves. He had to teach me the sign of peace, love, and I can’t remember, rave?
- The ravers wear these mask things and they pay $50 for it. I said, let’s make a business! I’ll do your website, he said, no it’s not in the rave culture and you will be shunned. I said then you are a silent partner and I’ll sell it. For him, it’s important to be cool, for me it’s important to see a business opportunity lol.
- He mentioned how he broke up with his girlfriend, but wanted a sign from God to see if he should give her another change. He paused and I was waiting for something like lighting, no. He’s said that night she tweeted out that she was hurt and that was the sign I needed and I tweeted back to her asking if everything was ok. I asked him why he did not pick up the phone, but tweet his feeling over the World Wide Web?
Moments when I realized thank goodness I don’t date younger men:
- When he was single, he said it was awesome in college because he had a girl before class, after class, during class, coffee, etc… I said, OMG girls these days. How could they do that? In my generation, girls don’t do that, well maybe they did and I just ignored it? I don’t know, but I just think it’s so dangerous. When girls tell me this, I tell them the person could be a killer and you never know.
- He mentioned how it was so easy to hang out with girls. I said, young man, if a man ever asks me to hang out, they go in my phone as asshole and that’s it. They need to use the words; I would like to take you out on a date and open doors like a gentleman.
Things I learned from Jr:
*As a preface, I do not approve of these terms, but I guess I better know them to be “hip” with the lingo these days.
- BAE– Before anyone else.
- Basic Bitch– Apparently, these are girls who wear Ugg boots, leggings, and Northface jackets. He’s like the typical sorority girl. I said, hey I wear that all the time, so you are saying I’m a basic bitch? He said, well, they usually have a Starbucks in their hand too. I said, yep that’s me then.
- Thots– That hoe over there.
- Meme- He mentioned about all these pictures with funny phrases going around. My neighbor Cyndy said, oh you mean the “meh-meh?” Very confidently, I said, “Oh Cyndy, you mean “Me-me” Jr. looked at both of us in shock and said, it’s “meme,” it rhymes like scheme. Yes, at that moment, Cyndy and I were thrown into the LAME category.