To the man I lusted

Standing in the conference lobby, a friend tapped my shoulder and said, “I wanted to introduce you to P. He’s at my alma mater.” P asked if he could join me at my table for lunch. He was tall with a confident walk that could command a room. He smelled of sandalwood with a slight hint of smoke. He told me stories about his future ambitions and travels, his accent intrigued me. Finishing up my meal, I politely excused myself to go back to the office. He gently grabbed my hand and asked me to wait. I started to walk off and he handed me his business card.

I didn’t think anything more, time was limited as it was split between a full-time job at the bank, a part-time job at the hospital, two teaching assistant scholarships, and a full-time MBA program. Dating wasn’t even a thought that crossed my mind.

Sitting on my couch, midway through a marketing assignment about another Harvard Business Case, a text message came through from a number I didn’t recognize. It was P, he asked if I would meet him for dinner. I declined.

The next morning, the conference had provided ticket to a Sundance movie. I stood in line outside the building, waiting for the doors to open. Another text appeared from P, this time asking if I was the girl in the red coat. P stood there in front of my friends and asked me to go to lunch, again I declined because of work. Laying it all on the line, he asked me to see him in the evening because it was his last day there.

Looking into his piercing dark eyes, I said yes. That evening, I pulled up in front of the hotel. We headed to get ice cream and quickly stopped downtown. Walking back to my car, my clumsiness got the better of me and I tripped. He caught me, dipped me and gave me my very first kiss.

That kiss started a long distance relationship where we squeezed dates in during layovers, meeting at the end of the evening at MBA conferences, and quick weekend trips as we finished the MBA program. He was smart, successful, handsome and he thought I was beautiful. It didn’t hurt that our chemistry was like fireworks. Being in his presence was like an addiction and all that mattered was spending time with him.

That dream was short lived. He showered me with compliments and charmed me by reciting romantic Hafez poems. He filled my mind with hopes of a big life that we’d accomplish by being a power couple.

In this end, dreams weren’t enough. He got a great job in the East Coast and asked me to move with him and I said no. We went our separate ways and never spoke again. It was the most amicable breakup I could have asked for, no words were exchanged, no closure was required, and no anger transpired.

It was a relationship built on lust, nothing more than infatuations with each other. We’ve all had that person where you saw stars when they were around. The person where the physical attraction was like magnets, yet compatibility may be lacking some important factors. Lust has interesting ways of tricking the heart to believe it is love.

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